Jase’s silly thoughts

i thought, we thought, maybe it could all be a whole new experience.
and learn what we never knew, from each other.
but it all slowly surfaced all our differences.
so much so that i had to do what i never did before.

the whole while had made me so wearily, so very very very wearily.
too much of all the psychological wars that we play.
i decided to follow all the signs i see.
kill the weariness.
i would be the bad guy this time round.

and then it had all ended , with no strings attached.
a sounded relief.
no ding-dongs this time.
ding-donging for way too long.
freedom was all I felt.

but i had become skeptical towards people of certain nationalities.
i really can’t help it.
sorry.

it was just so fabricated.
damn. not again. please.

I, fear not of being engulfed by darkness or death.
I, fear for the good of it, good and kindness of all.

I, once so wanted to embrace the light.
I, now so engulfed in the shed.

I, gained the lessons to look back and smile.
I, lost the simplicity to look straight.

I, do not want to be the good one.
I, do want to be the fuked up one.

Give me a reason, but don’t give me a choice.
I’m just too wearily, I just wanted to say sorry to myself.

i want to prawning, clubbing and sleeping laaa…
why no time… whyyy…
baaa… … …

seems to forget what is “rest”.
so…
don’t think don’t think.
don’t stress don’t stress.

ok seriously need to quit talking to myself.
reallyyy… … …
and maybe stop being so silly…

happy bean signing off.

PS : mayi, this entry is made easy for u to understand ok. lol.

i’ll laugh my head off and let my lungs burst
so tastefully done, so tastefully said
it’s just a hole, in the nonchalant broken smiles
it’s so damn pain, in the frus empty facets
to psycho, to tame, to mould, to just shut up.
and then it’s just self-realisation, i should have known.

The meteor rain crashed into my twisted mind this night
There’s no way to stop it
The dark side prevailed this night
There’s no chance to win
Then let’s all party at my little garden
Oh little garden but we’ll all have fun
We’ll all drink and drop and do the silly stuff
We’ll be so happy and so high
Locked is that door, shut are those windows
Long locked, long shut
All have said their piece
So creep into my house, come
Then let’s all just crush the furniture
What could be more worse to see the broken door and windows.
Fallen is the first wall of defense
Like spreading cancerous cells
Falling dominos, chain reaction
Like it will ever stop.

i’m happy haha!
because it all happened in my mind!
i knew i belonged to the happy,
or maybe crazy,
or maybe just twisted.

taken from http://zully.blogspot.com/2007/08/walk-away.html

as propagated by a colleague.

“sometimes, you just have to walk away. i know, we all hate to fail, hate to give in, hate to give up and that we love the challenge of life and want to keep on until whatever we are trying to ‘win’ has been overcomed, vanquished, beaten, won. but at times, it just aint gonna happen and we need to learn to recognize those moments, learn how to philosophically shrug and walk away with our pride intact and our dignity held high. afterall - its not your fault on your part.

sometimes you really want to do something and yet it is unrealistic. instead of knocking yourself out, cultivate the art of walking away and you’ll find that things will seem a lot less stressful. my friend, if a relationship is coming to an end, instead of playing out long and complicated - AND potentially harmful - end games, learn the art of walking away.

if its dead, leave it.

this really isn’t a rule that ought to be in the relationship manual or a guide for dummies - its here because it is for you, to protect you and stop any unnecessary nonsense i’d say. this has nothing to do with ‘them’ but it all has to do with you. YES, you. if its dead, don’t go digging it up every fifteen minutes to check if there is a pulse.

its dead, walk away.

you may want to get even - don’t get mad, just walk away. this certainly is much better than getting even because it shows you have risen above whatever it is that has driven you crazy. and there can be no better way of getting even than to ignore something so completely that it can be left behind. you can cry, but just walk away.

i can go on forever and try to talk more sense into you. but that my friend, will be never-ending. therefore, just let go and walk away - show you’re exercising control and that you have good decision-making powers. not just any irrational thinking or immature behaviour. you are certainly making your own choice than letting the situation control you.

yes, it really is dead. walk away.”